THE IMPORTANCE OF FORGIVENESS
From Choosing Love: Moving from Ego to Essence in Relationships
Without forgiveness, we jump into ego identification and try to prove our partner wrong and ourselves right. Forgiveness, on the other hand, allows us to accept that our partner is in ego identification and to love him or her anyway, and this is what allows our partner to drop into Essence and out of the ego. Forgiveness allows us to stay in Essence, and it brings our partner into Essence.
Forgiving ourselves is just as important, for the same reason. To forgive yourself for being ego identified and all that comes with it requires seeing that you are ego identified, and this breaks the spell of ego identification. As soon as you see you are ego identified, you are outside of it and you have some choice—to either reidentify with the ego or not. At this point, you can decide to stop trying to defend your position. Instead, you see that your position was, in fact, the ego’s position and not yours at all! You forgive yourself for being human, and that forgiveness allows you to experience Essence.
Gina had the pleasure of talking with Regina Dawn Akers of Awakening Together about awakening, particularly what happens after awakening. You can listen here:
Interview by Regina Dawn Akers of Awakening Together (60 min.)
With so much interest these days in mindfulness and being present, I want to put in a good word for moving slowly, for not hurrying though life. Being present is nearly impossible when we are in a hurry. Furthermore, we find that when we are present, we rarely choose to be in a hurry. Hurrying is generally motivated by the ego, by the thoughts that run through our mind. That voice pushes us to get things done asap—no matter what. The “no matter what” is the problem, because if we make life about getting things done, we are going to miss out on a lot of life.
As we hurry through our day, it’s easy to forget that being is just as important as doing, as being needs to inform our doing or life will begin to feel dry, lifeless, and joyless. If we listen solely to the egoic mind (the voice in our head), we will begin to feel like an automaton, and we will find ourselves consumed with doing things that don’t bring us joy, but only more things, more money, more power—more of what the ego wants but less of what is truly meaningful.
Slowing down our pace and just being for moments throughout our day gives us access to our true nature and its innate wisdom. Hurrying, on the other hand, keeps us tied to the ego, which barks its commands, pushes us harder, and shames us. The ego views life from a lens of fear and scarcity. It doesn’t trust life because it isn’t in touch with the truth about life. It copes with its fears and insecurities by pushing us to constantly be doing. When we are caught in the ego’s world, we can never rest and just be, and we lose touch with the deep sense that all is well.
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